dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize