Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
zippers are such a cool invention
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
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