Already got asked if we're dating
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
