So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
