i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
