what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
she looked like the before picture.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
