you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Randomize