You made me cry and you don't even care
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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