he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
