I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Randomize