omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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