She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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