her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
