Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize
