you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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