Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
