so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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