she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
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