Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
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