I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
