sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
