3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
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