Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Randomize
