remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Randomize
