thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
