it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
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