Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize