So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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