me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
