you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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