so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
