They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Randomize
