I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
