What did we do last night that was yellow?
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Less talking, more tequila
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Randomize