when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
wow bdsm is so cute
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize