oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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