:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Randomize
