I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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