Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize