she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Randomize