Just cropdusted the office
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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