I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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