Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
