I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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