he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
