My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
