We're like a lot better than the average bears
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
