Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
