There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
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