go do what you do best...puke behind churches
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize