great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
There's always time for handjobs
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Holy sore nipples Batman
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Randomize
