Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
