Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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