I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Randomize
