drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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