I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
