What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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