when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Randomize
