i think my mom watched the whole time
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
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