If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
