I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
