You're a womanizer and a bitch.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Randomize
