You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
