My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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